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4 Months, No Yaya

September 17, 2010

I bet there is at least one person I know who’s placing a mental bet on how long I’m going to last without a yaya. Well, hand over the moolah, whoever you are, because there is no way I’m getting one anytime soon.

Ok, so it’s hard. Our all-around girl is busy all the time with everything else around the house that I seldom ask her to watch Basti. And when The Painter zones out, there is no way you can persuade him to do anything but paint. Breaking his painting streak will cause more chaos so I don’t even try. So yes, there are times I miss meals, or eat with Basti on my lap (and crumbs on his head), and have unwashed hair. I go everywhere with Basti, be it the supermarket, parties, wakes, funerals, or weddings. The only time I really bring our maid with me out is when I have to do groceries, because even I admit it’s hard to push a cart, and grab groceries with a baby in tow. I’m also lucky that my parents have retired and are only too happy to drive and accompany me when I have to go anywhere. (The Painter doesn’t drive. I drove for the two of us and did all errands until the day before I delivered! But he’s actually signing up for driving lessons already. Next shopping item: Car Seat!)

It’s made even harder that Basti HATES his stroller so much that I’ve stopped bringing it. It’s just one more thing to carry and we don’t need any more of that, do we? People ask me how I became so adept at babywearing at such a short time. Oh believe me, it has nothing to do with my mad skillz (ok, maybe just a little bit), but everything to do with sore arms and the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome.

But really? It’s not as hard as I thought it would be. When I read and hear about yaya woes I’m glad I’m free of that. I see mommies walking leisurely around the mall, with yayas trailing at their footsteps carrying the baby and I can’t imagine that to be me. I do envy their composure and how their outfits look like they actually took time to put it together, but at the end of the day, I’d really much rather it be my skin my baby touches and not a stranger. I hear of couples who have been able to take a weekend off without their infant, leaving the baby in the care of lola and yaya, with instructions and bottles and frozen milk and I think… “When will Orley and I be able to go off on our own? When Basti’s 21?” But again, I can’t imagine even one night away from my child.

Sure I have meltdowns. There were times that I think I really need a drink (even if I don’t drink), and I admit there have been moments that I left Basti to squirm for a few minutes in his cot just so I could rest my arms for 5 minutes. I’ve sat alone at home with the baby while my husband goes to exhibits, while my girl friends go out for a night out, and while my siblings watch a movie together.

But at night, when he turns on his side on his own to snuggle up to me, I know it’s all going to be worth it someday.

P.S. Watch this space for something that I’ve had brewing for a few weeks. Just finalizing some details. I ask you this… Are you feeling lucky??? πŸ˜€

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. marilen permalink
    September 17, 2010 11:21 pm

    even with toys hanging from stroller he hates it? πŸ™‚ Santiago likes the toys, and maybe prop the seat up so that he can see around:)

    • Eliza permalink
      September 17, 2010 11:27 pm

      Yes! I tried hanging toys and he became more irritated! I’ll try again when he’s just a little bit bigger. The stroller I have kasi, he still slips out when it’s propped up! Scary! I actually saw a baby slip out from a stroller in Megamall, buti na lang they caught her!!!

  2. Yanna permalink
    September 18, 2010 4:47 am

    Hey Eli!

    I know exactly what you mean (I was laughing so hard about eating with Basti on your lap with crumbs on his head… I do it all the time too! It’s hardest with spaghetti, buti na lang Sahaya has almost no hair at all!) and I admire your perseverance. We no-yaya SAHMs or WAHMs deserve medals!

    We’ve tried two yayas since Sahaya was born and I fired both of them in less than a week. (One was chismosa and one was just… Well, useless.) Mothers just have a very certain way of raising their children, and sometimes we just cringe when strangers hold them so close. Our babies will only be this small for a little while, we should make most of these times when they’re just all ours.

    My comment is almost as long as your post, sorry! Haha! But keep it up, you’re doing a great thing for child. He might never remember it or learn to appreciate it when he grows up, but right now, every smile or cuddle is all worth it. πŸ™‚

    PS: Sahaya hates her stroller too. Even her car seat, bouncer, carrier… Basically anything that babies are supposed to sit in. They’re all useless! We’re even trying sell them off eBay now, ’cause they were such a waste of money. 😦 So we’re stuck with the SaYa, hehe. Don’t worry, it may be hard, but Velcro babies are usually calmer and smarter! πŸ˜‰

    • Eliza permalink
      September 18, 2010 6:56 pm

      Oh please! Write as long as you want!! πŸ™‚ I like the term “Velcro babies”!!

  3. Mandy permalink
    September 18, 2010 2:56 pm

    Hi! I read about your blog in Topaz Horizon’s blogpost–I remember your name from my friend’s facebook–Badette A. We were both telling her “I told you so” for getting a Dell laptop instead of a Mac. Hee.

    Anyways, I didn’t have a yaya either for my toddler. We started having one (Part-time yaya) when he was more than a year old. But still, when we go out, we don’t have a yaya. Kaya mo yan! πŸ™‚

    • Eliza permalink
      September 18, 2010 6:55 pm

      Hey there! Thanks so much for dropping by! Haha, yes that was us telling Badette to get a Mac!! Thanks for the no-yaya encouragement!!

  4. September 18, 2010 4:50 pm

    I wasn’t living in the Philippines when I had my kids so that meant no yaya. I had 2 kids below 2 for a bit. I had to send my older son to day care to be able to get things done at home. It really is difficult to have no help. I’ve been back a year and a half now and I must say am loving having a yaya. Although I admit that yaya is more for my sanity not, theirs.

    • Eliza permalink
      September 18, 2010 6:54 pm

      My friends in the States say the same! I, for one, lived my whole childhood life with yayas. I want to be able to give Basti the opposite experience!

      • September 19, 2010 6:20 pm

        I forgot to add that even if I love having yayas, many times I think life would be simpler without them. And on the days we go out as a family with no yayas, the kids are better behaved and not running around like crazy knowing that yaya will run after them.

      • Eliza permalink
        September 21, 2010 1:55 pm

        I have to agree with you on that one. My nephews are better behaved when they have no yaya too!

  5. November 18, 2010 3:35 pm

    Oooh, can super relate to this one, too! There have been time when I thought of making life so much easier and just get a yaya. When you really think about it, it’s really not much easier when you have a yaya, on so many levels. Our son is almost 2.5 and we’re still yaya-free! You can do it!

    • Eliza permalink
      November 18, 2010 4:32 pm

      Oh that ‘s so encouraging!! Yes I agree having one is more trouble than not having one. Not just trouble, drama pa!!!

  6. August 30, 2011 3:38 am

    ” I see mommies walking leisurely around the mall, with yayas trailing at their footsteps carrying the baby and I can’t imagine that to be me. I do envy their composure and how their outfits look like they actually took time to put it together, but at the end of the day, I’d really much rather it be my skin my baby touches and not a stranger.”

    I feel exactly the same. Mother to twins Arkin and Xarraine, no yaya for 21mos πŸ™‚

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